The Star Trek Explorer --- Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

The Original Series:


Kirk:          You chicken bastard, you killed my son... You chicken BASTARD,
               you killed --- my SON... you CHICKEN bastard, you KILLED my
               --- son! Yooooo... chicken... bastard... youkilledmyson!

Spock:         Fascinating, Captain.

McCoy:         Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!

Scotty:        Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.

Uhura:         Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

Sulu:          Don't call me Tiny!

Chekov:        It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life
               for the billionth time..did I scream this time?

Nurse Chapel:  Oh, Spock!

Charlie X:     Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...

Harry Mudd:    Chicken?  I don't remember any chicken.  No no no, there's
               been a terrible misunderstanding.

Sarek:         Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

Khan:          With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

V'Ger:         To join with the Creator.

The Next Generation:


Picard:        There are four lights!

Riker:         I don't know why, but I know how:  with pleasure, sir.

Troi:          I feel the chicken's pain!

Data:          The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite
               side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware
               that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the
               distance without interception by an kind of combustion-
               propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear
               as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire
               to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for
               the usage of...yes, sir.

Geordi:        Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck
               with women than I do.

Worf:          KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

Dr. Crusher:   If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be
               something wrong with the universe.

Tasha:         That depends...was it fully functional?

Wesley:        I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these
               systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete
               internal whootchacallit on the computers and...

Lwaxana:       Oh, Jean-Luc!

Mr. Homn:

Q:             Wouldn't you like to know?  Too bad your puny human brain
               wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.

Dr. Soran:     His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with
               nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!

The Borg:      Crossing the road is irrelevant.  The chicken will be
               assimilated.

Deep Space Nine:


Sisko:         It was seeking deeper meaning.  Jake, do you see what we've
               learned from all this?

Dax:           To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me,
               Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's...

Kira:          It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

Dr. Bashir:    It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to
               mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

O'Brien:       No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.

Odo:           I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.

Quark:         Who, me?

Jake:          Check out the babe that just came off that transport!

Grand Nagus:   Stupid chicken!  You don't cross the road all at once!
               You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!

Gul Dukat:     Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can
               work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information
               that will be to everyone's satisfaction.

Voyager:


Janeway:       Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha
               Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.

Chakotay:      Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect
               its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual
               awareness.

Tuvok:         That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior
               officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.

Paris:         Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're
               wearing.

Harry:         I don't know, it's my first mission.

B'Elanna:      I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations
               of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!

Neelix:        Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens
               in this system.  But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

Kes:           It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors
               crossed roads all the time!  They lost those abilities
               because they stopped using them!

HoloDoc:       How should I know?  No one tells me anything around here.
               I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew.  All I
               know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken
               went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to
               turn me off!