In their continuing effort to milk it for all it's worth, Paramount, in cooperation with Calvin Klein, will be unveiling the new "Next Generation" colognes and perfumes for the fall season. Most will be available in the bargain bins at K-Mart, Ames, and other fine cosmetic outlets. I felt it necessary to acquaint you with some of with some of ad campaigns... and a few that didn't make the production line:
"ENGAGE" (based on Jean-Luc Picard, magazine ad to appear in Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone, Field and Stream, and Billiard Balls Anonymous)
The ad is in black and white, complexion-verite style and features the good Captain (Patrick Stewart) in chains, representing the "Chain of Command." His uniform pants are pulled down just enough to reveal his 24th century Calvin Klein underwear. He is topless (in more ways than one) and wearing a goofy grin, similar to that of Marky Mark. The printed text reads:
"Steadfast. Strong. French. All that is Jean-Luc. All that can be you. Make it so."
"NUMBER ONE" (based on Commander Riker, television ad to run on TNT, and local public-access channels) The spot features Jonathan Frakes in flannel shirt and seated on a stool, though visible only from the waist up. Frakes, of course, is smirking. The printed text reads:
"Hello. I'm Jonathan Frakes. You may wonder why Commander Riker scores with all the hot alien babes every week on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Well, a lot of it has to do with my charm and charisma, but mostly it's this stuff here. (Frakes reaches down to hoist up the two-gallon jug version of the product upon his lap.) "NUMBER ONE" by Calvin Klein. Yeah, I splash on this stuff everyday. One whiff of this is enough to blow her pantyhose off! So if you want to be a big studly guy like me, pick up this. It's better than 'Hi-Karate'." Scene cuts to black and white cloud-flecked sky shown in sped-up form. Two-Gallon jug of "NUMBER ONE" fades in. Breathy female voice intones: "NUMBER ONE by Calvin Klein. Don't use it sparingly."
"VAMP" (based on Counselor Deanna Troi, magazine ad slated to appear in Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler and other revealing publications)
The color ad, displays the confident Counselor (Marina Sirtis) on her bed, in very revealing, new Calvin Klein designer lingerie, wearing a cocky grin. Sirtis holds a small, mind-shaped bottle posed provocatively between her breasts for the tight, insert shot. (So to speak.) The printed text reads:
"Hellooooo. I'm Marina Sirtis, but you probably know me better as the token space bimbo. Who cares? I get paid a fortune to drag guys into bed. You don't think I could do it with just my looks, do you? When I'm wearing "VAMP" men just don't care. You too can be a "VAMP."
