O Canada! A national tribute, eh?

    1. The National Anthem of Canada
    The National Flag of Canada (aka the Maple Leaf) O Canada was composed in 1880 by Calixa Lavallée with French lyrics by Sir Adolphe - Basile Routhier. The English lyrics (1908) are based on a version by Mr. Justice Robert Stanley Weir. The song was proclaimed the anthem in 1980.

    English lyrics
    O Canada! Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.
    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!
    From far and wide, O Canada,
    We stand on guard for thee.
    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
     
    French lyrics
    O Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,
    Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!
    Car ton bras sait porter l’épée,
    Il sait porter la croix!
    Ton histoire est une épopée
    Des plus brillants exploits.
    Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,
    Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
    Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.     		 English translation
    O Canada! Land of our forefathers
    Thy brow is wreathed with a glorious garland of flowers.
    As in thy arm ready to wield the sword,
    So also is it ready to carry the cross.
    Thy history is an epic
    of the most brilliant exploits.
    Thy valour steeped in faith
    Will protect our homes and our rights
    Will protect our homes and our rights.

    2. I Am Canadian!
    Joe with the Canadian flag in the background It was a Molson Canadian beer commercial, but “The Rant” turned into a Canadian pledge of allegiance. Aired for the first time in March 1999, an average “Joe” stood on an empty stage, dismantling Canadian stereotypes and taking pride in our distinctiveness, while images of Canada flashed behind him. Why so popular? Canadians aren't used to patriotic displays like this, so when someone does it, we rally behind them!

    Hey, I’m not a lumberjack or a fur trader.
    I don’t live in an igloo, or eat blubber or own a dog sled.
    And I don’t know Jimmy, Sally or Suzie from Canada

      (although I’m certain they’re really, really nice.)
    .
    I have a prime minister not a president.
    I speak English and French, not American, and I pronounce it “about” not “aboot.”
    I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack.
    I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, diversity, not assimilation,
    and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.    		 Joe with beavers in the background

    A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch

      and it is pronounced “zed” not “zee” — “zed.”
    Canada’s the second largest land mass, the first nation of hockey
      and the best part of North America.
    My name is Joe and I am Canadian!
    [meekly] Thank you.
    3. Blame Canada
    Not suitable for younger viewers! ....Released in 1999, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut was one of the most obscene, filthy and sexually explicit movies of the year. It was also so funny I pissed myself!
    ....The story: Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman sneak in to see an R-rated Canadian film, Asses of Fire, starring their idols, Terrance and Phillip. The boys sit through three hours of dirty language and soon they’re spreading the filth to their classmates.
    ....The boys are such fans of the movie that Kenny dies recreating a scene — one where Terrance sets his ass on fire! Seeking an end to this, the South Park moms form “Mothers Against Canada” and declare war. This is their rallying cry.

    Times have changed
    Our kids are getting worse
    They won’t obey their parents
    They just want to fart and curse
    Should we blame the government? Or blame society?
    Or should we blame the images on TV?
    No!

    Blame Canada, Blame Canada
    For their beady little eyes
    And flappin’ heads so full o’ lies
    Blame Canada, Blame Canada
    We need to form a full assault
    It’s Canada’s fault

    Don’t blame me
    For my son Stan
    He saw the darned cartoon
    And now he’s off to join the Klan

    And my boy Eric, once
    Had my picture on his shelf
    But now when I see him
    He tells me to fuck myself
    Well?

    Blame Canada, Blame Canada
    It seems that everything’s gone wrong
    Since Canada came along
    Blame Canada, Blame Canada
    They’re not even a real country anyway
     
    My son could’ve been
    A doctor or a lawyer, it’s a-true
    Instead he burned up
    Like a piggy on a barbecue*
    Should we blame the matches?
    Should we blame the fire?
    Or the doctors who allowed him to expire? Heck no!

    * Kenny died recreating this fart-lighting scene.

    		 Terrance about to set his fart on fire

    Blame Canada, Blame Canada
    With all their hockey hullabaloo
    And that bitch Anne Murray, too
    Blame Canada, Shame on Canada for —
    The smut we must cut
    The trash we must smash
    The laughter and fun
    Must all be undone
    We must blame them and cause a fuss
    Before somebody thinks of blaming us

    4. The Simpsons Visit Toronto
    Toronto City Council declared Feb 17/02 Simpsons Day! In February 2002, the entire Simpsons family — Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie (at left holding Canada flag) — took a trip to Toronto! In this episode, Bart follows his ex-girlfriend Greta (daughter of Ah-nold clone McBain) to T.O. in an attempt to win her back from his best friend, Milhouse. The Toronto scene lasted only seven minutes, but the Simpsons writers (which includes some Canadians) inserted plenty of Canuck humour. For example...

    Scene: Bart and Homer are in the observation deck of the CN Tower.
     
    Bart: I’m a 10-year-old boy in Toronto. I should be the happiest kid in the world ... but I can’t stop thinking of Greta.
    Security Guard: Oh, you’ll win her back, eh? And B, we’re closing in five minutes.
    Homer: Would a U.S. dollar change your mind?
    Security Guard: American currency! What time would you like breakfast, sir?

     
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    Page last updated: Jun 8/02