Carlene & Jacquie’s Excellent Half-Marathon Adventure Web Site!

Oct 17/01 — Jacquie: Strange feeling

On The Sidelines We talked about running the 1/2 for a while before I seriously started training for it. Then I committed and we ran and trained as per our schedule. I was doing pretty well and feeling good. Then life happened. I couldn't keep up with training, I couldn't make Tuesday night runs and then there was that ass-kicking that Tom Longboat gave me at the Island. It was a tough decision, but we (Kelly, Kathryn and I) knew that I wasn't ready. I had to give up the idea of running this 1/2. I was in a bit of a funk for a week after, but got over it assuring myself that I would get back into the groove and be running again soon. But as soon as I got to Queen's Park Subway and saw the runners, a strange feeling came over me. At first I didn't know what it was, but I noticed that my mood had changed. The place was alive and the air was electric, full of energy. People were cheering as the runners grimaced, on their last stretch of the race. I followed the runners and was happy to find the Penguins fairly easily. Glenn had his bell. David and Carlene had already come in looking good and feeling happy (the strange feeling got stronger) and Kelly's family was happily waiting for her to appear. And she did. Running gracefully as if she had just started. We watched her run to the finish line and cheered as loud as we could. While we waited for her to come back around to us, we cheered others in and that strange feeling turned to cement and settled in my chest and stomach and then I realized what it was. Jealousy. I was wishing that I was not a spectator but a participant. I didn't want to just be cheering, I wanted to add to the power and the strength that each runner was giving off with each step they took towards the finish line. I mentioned my feelings to more than one Penguin and as always, Penguins came through with shining advice and support. I know that it isn't impossible for me get hyped for a race and have to back out for reasons within or out of my control and that I am not the only person that this has happened to. Hearing this helped me to stop feeling sorry for myself, get some trouble-shooting ideas and get on with business... the penguin business of celebrating our successful runners and enjoying the fellowship that always comes when a bunch of us penguin-like folk meet up. Congratulations to all who ran! -30-

Previous Jacquie journal: Discouraged, Oct 3
Next Jacquie journal: Still stuck, Oct 31
 
 

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Last updated: Oct 31/01