The SciComm Function
Chorus
We’re the SciComm Function, and this is what we do:
We prepare your documents so your message gets through.
We plan and write and edit
CSRs* that are a credit
To our patients and investigators too.
*[interject “clinical study reports” the first time only]
Though a comma out of place
Might seem a shame and a disgrace
To those who share our pride in proper English form,
We keep grammar in perspective
And restrain the harsh invective
If your spelling skills aren’t quite up to the norm.
Chorus
But corporate jargon leaves me grieved,
Puzzled, bored, and sorely peeved.
There’s no way for me to say this and be tactful:
Verbing nouns within my native tongue
“Transitions” <cough> language into dung –
Avoid such verbiage if you want to be … <cough>
“impactful”!
And a misplaced modifier
Should arouse our wrath and ire
If a key conclusion’s meaning is obscure,
For the goal of our cogitation
Is the speedy registration
Of compounds leading ever closer to a cure.
Chorus
